Remember Harold and Maude? I love that movie. I watch it every time it's on. And you know that song that Maude plays on the piano? They are now using that song in a T Mobile commercial. That kinda bothers me. I guess cause it's a total hippie song, and it doesn't quite work advertising blatent commercialism. Same with using an ( AWFUL) cover of All You Need is Love to sell Blackberries.

Doesn't that just sound stupid? Yes, world, all you need is LOVE--and a blackberry.

I mean, these are hippie songs, and the hippies are against useless possessions, materialism, status symbols and corperate America. I'm not saying these things are bad, i'm just saying don't advertize your unneccessary extravagent middle america corperate robot shit with a hippie song! it's like Klan members singing the blues...just doesn't work, does it?

Anyway, fact is, I love Harold and Maude and i love this song....so here it is.

Doesn't this song make you feel warm all over? Do whatever you want, be what ever you want. As long as you don't hurt anybody...go for it! i love hippies.

So, my friend's boyfriend is even more of an asshole than ever. i won't get into the details, but he near singlehandedly ruined our plans. so i didn't get to wear my awesome marie antoinette costume. i spent a lot of the day crying.

BUT NOT ALL OF IT

my mother and i saw West Side Story on Broadway. around 8 annie texted me to say she and two others were going to see 'where the wild things are.' right. after torutring me, leaving me plan-less and basically ruining halloween, i wanna go see where the wild things are with your stupid friends and your boyfriends who i'd like to sic the Sharks on

Hey Sharks, vamanos! Let's kill the Polack!

a boy like that will bring her sorrow, she'll find another boy tomorrow...

anyway, if you're in NYC TOTALLY see West Side Story. It's a little different than previous preductions as some is in Spanish. There are whole scenes in spanish and some of the lyrics to ' i feel pretty' ' a boy like that/i have a love' and ' tonight quintet' are espanol. However, the score is so well known, if you don't speak a word of it ( like me) you'll still get it.

Yes, i am Puerto Rican, and i don't speak Spanish.

But hey, i like the island Manhatten, smoke on your pipe and put that in!

I seriously think Karen Olivo  may be a relative. one of my grandparents is an Olivo...i gotta ask.

CHICK FLICK-n. a movie in which your normal average girl lands perfect, hot, wonderful guy, who changes her life as she opens his heart to love once again, all of course, with her wise cracking best friend in tow.

                          2. a movie with an overly saccarine plot, syrapy sweet with lots of hugging and 'sisterhood' and emotions and very little plot, story, or charecter development.

DICK FLICK- n. a movie in which a cooler-than-thou dude kills everything in sight, rescues his scantily clad girlfriend, and blows shit up for no apparent reason, and kills the bad guy after quipping something, all of course, with his wise cracking side kick in tow.

                          2. a movie with an overly violent plot, with lots of car chases, exploding and sunglasses and very little plot, story, or charecter devlopment.

couldn't be more differnt, huh? well, i beg to differ with you billy. i say dick flicks and chick flicks share one thing in common: they are UNREALISTIC.

or at least i think so. they're fantasies, just as much as Lord of the Rings is a fantasy, just different kinds of fantasies.  i mean, i know that my odds of saving the president or protecting a precious artifact from a vast conspiracy or foiling a terrorist plot are not good. i know that i have better odds of finding a cute guy and having a romance with him. so why do action films make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and romance movies depress me?

chick flicks and dick flicks, both, generally, have happy endings. in a chick flick, the chick gets the guy, they go off to paris and kiss in the sunset. in a dick flick, the hero kills the bad guy, gets whatever he was fighting for, and walks off into the sunset, gun in hand. ok. so why should dick flicks make me feel good, and chick flicks depress me?

i have a theory. in a dick flick the hero is one of two guys ( note: i use the word hero, but you can substitue the word heroine. there are dick flicks with girl heros.) 1. A super cool super genius who earned his coolness 2. Your average dude in an extroidnariy situation.  for the purposes of this HIGHLY scientific blog, we're going to talk about #2, such as Frodo, Harry Potter, Willow, Peter Parker/Spiderman. If the hero is one of these guys, well hey, that's YOU on the screen. if Frodo, a hobbit ( read: any kind of minority) from the Shire ( read: a nowhere town in the midwest) can go on an epic quest and save Middle Earth, we could do that TOO! All we need is Gandalf or Dumbledore to show up and reveal our destiny. Yeah!

( note: this is also why i think a lot of people don't like Superman. He's neither an ordinary guy who just 'got' his powers by chance, like spiderman, or a dude who earned his powers, like batman. he doesn't even have to hone them or learn how to use them, they're always kinda just THERE, ready for him. he's too perfect.)

but who's the hero in a chick flick?

well, she's usually your average girl. she's pretty, but not TOO pretty, or too sexy. wouldn't want her to be too threatening, would we? she usually has a boring job, or on the other hand, a job she loves, but she's not gonna make too much money doing it. she's got a couple of friends, including the obligatory wise cracking bestie, but not too many. her phone rings, but not all the time. in short, she's a diamond in the rough, a pearl of a girl, just waiting for some guy to realize it. you know, JUST LIKE YOU.

okay, so we've established that in both movies, that's YOU on the screen. and then, in the chick flick, in walks Ben Affleck/Brad Pitt/Matthew Mc--not bothering spelling his name. the hot, sweet-maybe a little wild-guy, who notices her for the great girl she is. they meet, argue, break up, get back together, kiss, and live happily ever after.

in the dick flick, in walks Sean Connery/Richard Harris/Hugo Weaving. He notices some sort of buried potential, or, more likely simply says 'someones gotta save the world, might as well be....YOU!' the hero argues, fails, gets up, improves, fails again, gives up, tries one last time...and saves the world, gets the girl and lives happily ever after.

at first glance this sounds pretty much the same. but here's the difference:  The action hero wasn't particularly great in the first place. he became great. there's nothing particularly fabulous about Peter Parker, now is there? he becomes fabulous. therefore, we, the un-fabulous, COULD become fabulous. Chick Flick hero is already fabulous, and a) no one has seemed to notice it or appriciate it before Ben Affleck  and b) she needs Ben Affleck to appriciate it. See the differnce? Dick Flick- ordinary+challenge=fabulousness=hero. Chick Flick- fabulous+luck=validation of previous fabulosity=hero.

do you see the difference? there's no POTENTIAL, there's no ROOM TO GROW, there's no, hey, give me Gandalf and i could do that too. Think about it.

That's why i think chick flicks depress me. i'd rather leave the theater thinking ' i'm just an average jane...but IF i had to throw a ring in a fiery mountain....i totally could do it.' then thinking ' i'm a great girl...but no one has noticed.'

trust me, i realize dick flicks aren't realistic. but there's something safe in their unrealism. we can retreat into fantasy, say ' sure, i could save middle earth, too. give me a sword and some elf ears, i'm there!' than think ' god love is complicated. one day i might find someone as great as that...but the odds are slim.' it's the difference between infinate improbabilty and finite improbablity.

is any of this making any sense?

if not...watch Harry Potter, then watch Under the Tuscan Sun. And note how you feel afterwards.

But again, this is just me. Some people feel hopeful after chick flicks, all warm and fuzzy inside, and upset after dick flicks. personally, i'd rather retreat to my Indiana Jones fantasy, then worry about when beautiful god boy is going to call.

happy movie watching.

MARCH 31, 1776
ABIGAIL ADAMS TO JOHN ADAMS

        "I long to hear that you have declared an independency. And, by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors.

        "Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands.

        "Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.

        "That your sex are naturally tyrannical is a truth so thoroughly established as to admit of no dispute; but such of you as wish to be happy willingly give up -- the harsh tide of master for the more tender and endearing one of friend.

        "Why, then, not put it out of the power of the vicious and the lawless to use us with cruelty and indignity with impunity? 

        "Men of sense in all ages abhor those customs which treat us only as the (servants) of your sex; regard us then as being placed by Providence under your protection, and in imitation of the Supreme Being make use of that power only for our happiness."

        "As to your extraordinary code of laws, I cannot but laugh.

        "We have been told that our struggle has loosened the bonds of government everywhere; that children and apprentices were disobedient; that schools and colleges were grown turbulent; that Indians slighted their guardians, and negroes grew insolent to their masters.

        "But your letter was the first intimation that another tribe, more numerous and powerful than all the rest, were grown discontented.

        "This is rather too coarse a compliment, but you are so saucy, I won't blot it out.

        "Depend upon it, we know better than to repeal our masculine systems. Although they are in full force, you know they are little more than theory. We dare not exert our power in its full latitude. We are obliged to go fair and softly, and, in practice, you know we are the subjects.

        "We have only the name of masters, and rather than give up this, which would completely subject us to the despotism of the petticoat, I hope General Washington and all our brave heroes would fight."

        "I cannot say that I think you are very generous to the ladies; for, whilst you are proclaiming peace and good-will to men, emancipating all nations, you insist upon retaining an absolute power over wives.

        "But you must remember that arbitrary power is like most other things which are very hard, very liable to be broken; and, notwithstanding all your wise laws and maxims, we have it in our power, not only to free ourselves, but to subdue our masters, and without violence, throw both your natural and legal authority at our feet."

                Don't you just love these two? John and Abagail Adams. They always seemed to me like such a happy couple, and so well matched politcally. No interns under John Adams' desk, and no affairs with slave women either! And Abagail was not one to sit on the side lines either, as you can tell from her above discussion with her husband. I really place the beginning of feminism and women's suffrage with that one quote 'i desire you remember the ladies...we are determined to forment a rebellion and not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.' Of course, her husband does not really take her seriously, but the fact that he was even discussing such a matter, or really, any political matter with his wife showed that he did take her seriously. I always got the impression they really loved each other.

            I'm not trying to make any real point. I just always liked John and Abagail Adams. She seemed like a very cool first lady, and if he wasn't a great president, he was a great man.

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